Turn Your Head and Cough

Getting sick is just as bad as being sick. You can feel it coming, and instead of attacking it, and defending against it, you just give in and go down with the ship.

Get some rest? Go out and stay out late.
Have a healthy meal and climb into bed? Eat a 12AM Chalupa.
Shut off the AC in late October?Turn it on full blast on the off chance you might sweat.

I can't stand being sick. I like the little act I put on after I get over being sick. I eat lots of fruit, wear jogging suits and go to the gym. I like to walk around like a fitness guru giving random people tips on how to work out and be healthy.

Being sick though is one of the biggest nuisance's ever. God forbid you have to give in and go to the Doctor. I always feel as if the Doctor's office is going to make me sicker. I just picture myself sitting there with germs attacking me.

At the office all the single chairs with armrests are lined up around the periphery of the room, except for the row smack in the middle reserved for musical chairs. Enter the old lady, who hasn't bathed since Eisenhower, and she's going to sit right next to you while her daughter fills out the paperwork.

I feel bad sometimes, though, because I look down on the other people that come in to the Doctor's office. They shuffle in, all fatigued, and malaised, with a wad of tissues bundled in their hands. I almost feel like turning to the guy next to me and saying, "Get a load of this guy," pointing with my thumb. Then he looks at me weird because a river of snot is running down my nose.

Maybe instead of making these offices so drab and boring, we can turn them into singles bars. Go out and meet someone, infect each other with love. Since everyone in the office is sick anyway, why not?

A DJ can spin the tracks, however you will never know if he's a real doctor or if that's the way he's dressing. And when he says, " This one goes out to everyone with the flu," you're not exactly sure what he's saying because he loves that surgical mask so much.

And if you do meet that special someone, why not take her up to the bar, and buy her a shot of pepto or pedialyte. You'll be on that doctor's table in no time.

But you'll be the one doing the examining.....

(that means intercourse)

ck