I Have No Friends

Original:Tuesday, December 13, 2005
I have no friends
I pretty much can write whatever I want in this space because I dont have any friends yet. I think that a big portion of that reason is because I dont have any pics.
I wonder if I can get a hold of one of those computer programs that the model magazines use to "air brush" photos. Once I get my photos up I would be able to give myself a nice tan, perhaps sculpt some chiseled features, maybe even air brush a model with me into the picture. It would even be great to airbrush my head on the guy thats always on the cover of mens health. For some reason he's at the beach in jeans and no shirt on laughing like hes lost his mind . People who wear jeans on the beach in the summer have something to hide and obviously dont have sweat glands. Im talking to you Lt. Pete Mitchell.
I wonder what reasons have possessed people to join myspace. I know that I joined because "everyone else was doing it." I guess I sound like a hippie, maaaaaaannnn. Pass it, maaaaaaaannnn. But seriously I wonder what reasons others have to go ahead and create an ornate backround to their profile. Is it sheer creativity? That would be nice.
Another reason I think that people are on myspace is to hook up with people from high school. High School was great times. The cool people were crappy to the losers. The losers showed animosity to the cool people, usually not in front of them. One of the greatest days of my high school life was when a popular athlete who was actually a nice guy out of school, walked up to our table.
Let me describe "our table." Id like to call it the "ambitionless roundtable" We didnt have any desire to prove ourselves to anyone, we were in the corner, and we kept to ourselves. Some of the constituents of our group had ties to some of the cool people, which i guess granted us amnesty from constant ridicule. Most of us were in clubs, and even varsity athletics, but basically we didnt bother anyone, and no one bothered us.
One day, all of us were eating our lunches: sandwiches in hand, fries were being dipped, even pretzels being enjoyed. If you were looking out towards the end of the table, picture it as if you were looking at a movie screen. Enter right, a short, stocky, but cool gentleman aproach slowly. He turned his body left slowly in a right angle to face us, and then almost as if sparked, he slammed both his hands down on the table and shouted, " WINNERS!!!! YOU'RE ALL WINNAAAS!!" Shockingly, this was one of the funniest moments of my life.
The reason why I tell that story is because now, 6 years out of high school, its almost as if everyone's popularity has evened out. There are no more sports, there are no more school bands, there are no more ambitionless roundtables, and somehow nobody is looked at by their body shapes.
The most frequent place to run into old high school collegues, is at bars. And at bars people drink and measure themselves by what they made of their lives. And then after that , its all about people getting drunk and hooking up.
Suddenly the geek got rid of his glasses, and the popular girl is no longer supermodel status ( but still hot ), and all of a sudden people's values reach a plane where they are level. And you now have Mr and Mrs. Smith.
So for spite, for hooking up, for friends, something tells me this will be a great experience.
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