Crossing the humor line?
Speaking with the Fabulous Fabe, we discussed funny moments in bathroom life. I dont think bathrooms get much respect because of the dirty things that go on in there, but hey, its life. Bathrooms are given the respectful title of "room" and they should be treated as such. They aren't in the same category as the one named bastard children like "closet" or "garage" that usually smells like wet all the time. Bath-rooms aren't as prestigious as the living-room, or dining-room, but still it is given the bath-room title.
I suppose when making up names, the room-naming committee couldn't agree on commode-room, or toilet-room, to describle this part of the house, so they just circumvented the whole dirty issue and named it after another piece of equipment - the bath(room). I believe its Cretian for "to make one's self clean - room."
I was raised to go in and out, don't talk about what you do in there, and always wash your hands. I was never exposed to the wonders of being in there, until I started to question why my Godmother had "Reader's Digest" on the top of the toilet itself. I always guessed it was a mistake, and maybe they left the mail in there sometimes. It led me to realize, though, be loud and proud, you sit on the toilet and read!
Once I realized it was indeed ok to read in the bathroom, a whole new world evolved. It started with the newspaper, leading to magazines, then books. I think the world almost stopped spinning when I brought the laptop in there. I was almost tempted to make a desk that would fit perfectly around the toilet. Perhaps an L shape, for my printer on the side.
Watching TV with the door open is easy, but having a TV in the bathroom itself seems to be the penultimate meaning of life. One day we will all get there. I applaud those that have full libraries in the bathroom, going so far as to have a bookshelf and/or magazine rack. Yes I have seen it.
There is nothing like a framed picture of Kojo looking at you, though, while going about your business. Believe me, it happened once upon a time..
http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3NC5waWN0dXJlcy5naS56aW1iaW8uY29tLzJuZCtDb3V0dXJlK0NhcmVzK0JlbmVmaXQrQnJlYXN0K0NhbmNlcis4V2Z5LUJUdEplSmwuanBn
We all have a limit though, especially when company is over, or there are roomates to share with. Sometimes you must make a witty joke about what you have done, or what you need to do, so as to alleviate this embarrassment.
Here are some tips for when you have family staying with you, or you are at someone's dinner party and you need to, um, use the facilities. Especially helpful when the facility is near the middle of the action.
Fabian's Gold Medal - Squeezing the Shampoo bottle. ( I'd like to add - when you come out, bring the shampoo bottle and repeatedly say, "We need more shampoo, its out. I was checking in the bathroom [ point towards the room ] just now. That's what you heard" )
A little too much work - Walking out of the bathroom with plumbing tools, saying " It was tough to fix the sink, but you can use it now" You have to look confident, so people don't think you are crazy...
The Fabian/CK double team ( only works when staying in your girlfriend's all girls dorm room with common showers meant for 8 people) Go in together pretending that its the boy guests' "shower time" and nothing else. This way since we are showering no one else will come in and see what we were doing before the shower. I was convinced that this wouldn't work and that all 8 girls would need to see us in the shower and have their way with us. They never came.
Running the shower while using the facilities is a risky environmental move. If you are actually going to take a shower after, I suggest cutting it shorter. However, if you dont care, and don't even need a shower, you'll have to at least wet your hair, and come out of the bathroom drying said-wet-hair with a towel. Then tell your roomate, ( who probably has his girlfriend's friend over perhaps sparking your need for the charade )....
"You know, I was thinking, IN THE SHOWER, that we need to get more Cheez-its. Hey ( with 'surprised you're here' head nod and hand shake to the friend) My name is Steve, I was just IN THE SHOWER cause I just played sports."
Cell Phone (Expansion of my 'walk and talk method') - Come out of Rest-Room on a fake conversation. You have to really sell this one, just like the walk and talk. Preferably getting angry, and moving your arms alot. People might think, "Someone so angry could not have been going number two." Other people in the party will agree, by saying, " I agree."
ck San Juan.
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