Mad Ups to AK

Original:Friday, October 05, 2007
Mad ups to Arlene Kemmerer
Tuesday evening AK was yelling from the Den to put on channel 31. It appears Perfect Strangers is back in syndication, and has a new home on the Season Pass Manager from my Tivo. For those of you with Direct TV, it is shadowed on channel 305, called ION.
Balki is so innocent, a far bend from the current Bronson Pinchot, whos last TV appearance was on the Surreal Life on VH1. I think he was trying to bang that old model lady.
I think that the next perfect reality TV show should be called Weddings. Videotape the wedding party and show it un-edited. Better yet, they should be played live, this way no one can get out of the nonsense you do being made public.
Recently was the Animal's wedding. I think the total bill could have purchased Luxembourg or perhaps an Indoor Football Team. Sal, I didn't get a gift.
The dancing is by far the funniest part of the night. The only problem I have making fun of people dancing is that I am one of those bad dancers. As I was putting in the ingredients to the perfect dance cake, it ran through my mind how stupid I looked. This cake also had a lot of sweat in it too.
Ingredient 1 : the robot
Ingredient 2 : the F&ck Dance ( where you grind sexually with your partner- funnier if the duo is Phil P and Tursi )
Ingredient 3: The salsa ( Pretend you are latin, or just in touch with Latino flavor. You look ridiculous with your hand on your stomach and moving your hips, but you have a confident, cool gaze on your face, almost expecting someone to come up and say you are a really good salsa dancer - no one ever does because you are awful )
Ingredient 4 : Over the top moves ( you know you are a bad dancer, so you let everyone know that you are goofing around - so you'll go over the top. Moves like the lasso, or the fishing pole-trying-to-catch the other person, maybe even the Russian dance where you cross your arms and kick your legs up ) You and the one guy you know at the party find this funny.
Ingredient 5 : Dance with the same sex ( people will disregard your awful dancing abilities because of your shock value to dance with a member of the same sex - Phil P/Tursi )
Ingredient 6 : Act Italian. ( this might cause you to lose your dress shirt and/or sleeves and immediately hook up on the dance floor )
All the ingredients for a great dance cake.

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