11-1/Run, Colin, Run

In support of my friend Colin, I'm going to make fun of him for running in the NYC Marathon.

Things going through his mind while running.

At the start line, waiting for the race to begin.
-Can I get a little room here?
-What is that smell?
-I want to run next to that one! Italian gesture and then "minkia!" out loud.

Race begins
-Im in such good f#&#ng shape!
-"Im in such good f%^&**ing shape!" said to the pretty girl he's running next to.

Mile 14
-I think Chris was going to live here once. What an ass.

Mile 15
-"Did you know the Queensboro bridge was built in 1745 in preparation for the elephants to cross during the Battle of Gettysburg?" Pretty girl says, "I did hear that actually."

Mile 22
-Uhhh,Ahem,Uhhh,Ahem,Ahem,Uhhh...

Mile 24
-Im in such good f#**ng shape!

Mile 26
-I hope Phil is waiting for me.

When I was a child, and my parents wanted me to be "healthier," I was enrolled in the New York Road Runners. The NYRR is a widely popular running club that celebrates not being obese, and is responsible for creating the marathon 31 years ago.

I remember when we had a 'meet' at our local park. I must have been about 8 or 9. I was wearing the sweatshirt that they gave me, which of course, was way too tight. I was keeping pace ( with an old man walking liesurely around the park ), and I knew that the finish line was close ( I could hear the Mr. Softee that was waiting for me).

While getting close to the end, I noticed a dog was running at me in the distance. As I've come to learn, dogs want to play when you are running, and not necessarily eat me. This dog came up on me, leaping in the air, almost with its paws on my shoulders. I tried running away faster and faster, but it was to no avail. I starting sobbing uncontrollably as I was trying to fend off this dog.

The owner finally caught up to us, and was able to get the dog to heel. My mother was laughing, I think. After I was released from its grips, sobbing, I tried to get this way-too-small sweatshirt off of me. Struggling, trying to get the tight neck around my bulbous head, I started to shout about how I'm never doing this again. I got this tight sweatshirt off, messing my hair, and threw it onto the ground and walked away.

Go Colin!

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