11-20/Going Down, Hand in Hand

In the 90's there was an indoor roller rink called Laces. Similar to bell-bottoms and afro's, it was the 90's way of reminding you that one day, when you're older, you are going to look back and cringe.

I had been invited by a girl to go to Laces, and it appeared that perhaps she had asked me out on a date. Not knowing much about girls, and that wearing sweatpants to the library was unacceptable, I didn't know the difference. She was my first crush, and it didn't dawn on me, that maybe she liked me too. In fact, I thought it was a hoax.

Even in the library, with my sweatpants and 94 Rangers Stanley Cup Champions hat, I still didn't get it when she asked me out.

Her mom dropped us off, accompanied by 2 of her other friends. I felt pretty good about roller skating, since I had just started playing roller hockey - and when I say just started, I mean I wore quad roller skates that were 2 sizes too small. Along with the skates, I had built most of my goalie equipment out of cardboard, and I could barely stand up.

As we skated to some Boyz to Men song hand in hand, I felt pretty good about everything. Maybe this was for real. Was I going to join the ranks of the 8th grade elite who had a boy/girlfriend and......kissed???

(15 years later, I found out that there was much more than just kissing going on when boys and girls hung out and experimented. The only experimenting I was doing was dipping popcorn in the nacho cheese at Bay Terrace while seeing "The Mask" with Fabe. John made pizzas at his aunts house.)

As "Shoop" by Salt-n-Peppa played, I started to question how I looked on these rented skates. Was I actually looking like the roller hockey player I had boasted? I actually remember answering the mom's question of "Do you know how to skate?" with a defiant, "Yeah. I play hockey."

(Flashback to the bended piece of cardboard with cut out neckhole, placed over catcher's chest protector. The Eddie Belfour Blackhawks plastic goalie mask borrowed from Mike next door too small for my head.)

Making a turn, I felt my weight shift to the left, and I started losing my balance. I countermeasured the loss to the left, with a twist to the right, ignoring the rules I will learn in driver's ed a few years later about what to do in a skid. I was going down. Hand in Hand.

Just then I caught myself. Actually.....I caught her while naturally trying to grab something while losing balance.

It grabbed something alright. Her. Her right one.

Pretending like nothing happened, we skated on. I would get another chance at Laces with her weeks later. I harmed this second chance by lathering up in Drakar Noir.

Thinking that sweatpants, and a tan St. John's Red Storm t-shirt was appropriate, I worked up quite a sweat. Shocker. I had become immersed in sweat, evident by the bib like stain that shadowed the front of my shirt. Not like a baby's bib - more like a lobster bib.

It was safe to say there was no hand in hand skate to "Always and Forever."

But things have turned out just spectacular since.

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