04-30/Wedding Bells to Jail Cells

It is with deep regret to inform you that the Craigslist killer wedding is off. It almost seems like a Jay Leno skit where they pick out the funny names of people getting married. "The Craigslist-Killer wedding" The dude is terrible, and another reason why Fabian will tell you Boston sucks.

What I don't understand is that if you have an engagement party, are you supposed to bring a gift? And if you do - do you still have to bring a gift to the wedding? Sounds to me like the perfect chance to give lottery tickets in the envelope to one of those events. It definitely has some thought to it, but it also is valuable potential. If you get a cheap ticket, it still counts as generous because of the amount of money you could win.

I think as party favors for the celebration of nuptials to myself, I will give out a lucky 777s ticket to all my guests. One of the dummies there will be sure to win big, and with my luck it will be John. Hi John.

Speaking of John, the W.B. Mason guy is starting to get on my nerves. For a long time I used to see the trucks driving around, and since I was busy probably thinking of what deli meat is on sale this week, I used to only give the truck about 2 seconds of my time.

Finally one day I had discovered that I was actually curious about what this company is. I suppose I always thought that it was candy or cigars, due to the old tyme guy with his bozo eyebrow raised. Then I thought, "Wow, what a big truck for cigars."

http://www.e-brands.com.au/Blog_image_files/WB%20Mason%20ID%202.JPG

What's he looking at in that picture? Did someone distract him for a second during the hour long painting? Maybe some whippersnappers yelled, "Nice mustache, Gatsby!!" Then when he looks at the painting later he says, "Hey, I wasn't looking at the easel!"

I guess with the behest of the W.B. Mason higher-ups they decided it would be a good idea to feature a TV commercial with this weirdo raising his eyebrow. I think John was cast originally for this part but he was not able to attend the actual filming.

Good idea though, because the end of the commercial seems like its the beginning of a porno - and my research on early 20th pornography is still not complete. I could see the silent film though - W.B. raising his eyebrow looking at a dame in a 1920's bathing suit twisting his mustache. They go to the black screen with the white text that says, "Who wants a mustache ride?"

Then Babe Ruth winks and swings a bat in fast motion, mouthing the words " Lou Gehrig is a dumb kraut. " But the black screen then comes on and the text reads, " I love pencils from W.B. Mason." Then winks.

By the way, they are an office supplier that also sells food and stuff to companies.

Enjoy your Thursday.

ck