01-08/Here is your Zen

Just to let everyone know, polo is just not an invention of one Ralph Loren. I always thought that "Polo" by Ralph Loren was just an inventive smell created for the facade of thick gelled hair and expensive watches while wearing at suit at a fundraiser. The sport actually exists.

Its 1am and change. The ESPN wire is reporting that the Red Sox are close to a deal with John Smolz and useless Rocco Baldelli. I should be pitching against Rocco in my long island amateur baseball league, but for some reason teams love that he can hit ten home runs in only thirty games that he can make through. I feel for his illness, but come on. He should be drinking beers in the parking lot after one of our games where one team wins 15 to 12 only because the game ended because of darkness.

Just then I look up and a bunch of horses, who have no idea what they have done with their lives, are running around with a dude on their back hitting a ball around. What are these horses' motivation? Please sir, don't hit me with that stupid malot again.

Then after scoring a goal, they get a field goal of some sort.

The players wear a helmet, but what about these horses? I can only imagine a time-out when the horses are sitting there while the players are talking strategy..

"Dude, did you just shit?"
"Yeah bro, I had waaaaaay too many oats last night"
"Dude, your ass stinks"

All the players hear is a bunch of neighing and snuffing with the horses heads bobbing. Really all these horses want to do is get out of another match without getting hit by a 60 mph cue ball.

So after these matches these jockeys must go out for stella artoise after not showering, and the horses get more hay. Maybe after a big win the horses use their creepy long faces to shower each other in their shit laden hay.

The horses should at least get a party with some mares and maybe some grey goose in their troughs. They are the athletes that should get credit.

I guess there are no subs either. In reality if I was a horse on the sideline and all my friends were running around after a ball that looks like a salt lick, you better believe I'm running after it and I'll bite it.

They should have goalies too. Put a nice horse there with some pads and a helmet. The helmet could even be painted with a cool logo, or a mad looking horse with fire coming out of its nostrils with a barn in the background.

In my book, any horse that can make a butterfly save isn't going to the glue factory.

Commentator; "Whew these are the games that take your breath away."

This match is going into sudden death. I don't think the horses like that term.

Ck