03-17/Ho-Broken, Chapter 2

I stepped off the Path and followed the crowd upstairs. Noticing that there was only a handful of people boarding the train, I wondered if the crowd had already dispersed. As I reached the upstairs area, it was a different story.

The crowd was being restrained to behind the turnstile, and the cops were only allowing a handful to rush to the platform as soon as a train had entered the station. It reminded me of a movie where people were being evacuated as time was running out!

I walked upstairs to pure pandemonium. I checked my voicemails from all the people that were wondering where I was - Phil - and tried to establish contact. I had expected random rolling shopping carts filled with beer or Jameson wandering the area, but there was none that I could see. I also assumed beer cans would be flying randomly through the air, like shooting stars. None.

I started my journey to meet Phil and Colin. We were going to a house party! - and I had the most important task of bringing beer. First stop though, random port-a-potty.

"Hi guys!" I exclaimed. They all responded, "Hey there! We are a traveling singing family band here for St. Patrick's Day!" Just then some girl with shamrocks on her face puked all over Susie, the 3 year old tambourine player for the band. Putting a flask back into his green polyester pants, the father grabbed his guitar and started playing "Has anyone here seen Kelly?"

The above scene was actually a bandana wearing dad, playing guitar with his daughter of 8ish, and his son 3 ish playing an awful one beat on the drums. They actually were limping through "Crazy Train," but it didn't matter how badly they were playing it because of the dynamic of the trio.

I made it to the port-a-potty where I met a nice group of young chess players from Stanford University waiting to use the facilities. We talked politics, and the economy, and also shared some recipes for baked apple struedel, the old fashioned way of course..

The above scene was actually consisting of
: A group of girls telling another drunk girl inside the potty " No taking shits!!"
: The same group of gals rocking the potty while the girl was inside.
: Said girl exiting the potty, not knowing who or where she was.
: A group of guys behind me yelling randomly across the street , "Nice Lime shirt!"

I entered the un-holy vessel, and in all my years of reckless and random drinking, I had never seen such a disaster. NEVER. I was curious to see what my fate would be from the hooligans outside, but it turned out to be nothing.

We still had one problem, I was still sober.

I found a bicycle unattended, with a sign on it that read "Use me ONLY for transportation to beer stores." I obliged and went on my merry way waving to the crowds

"Nice Bike!"
"Thanks fella!"

I drove my way to the beer store. If I was a cop, I would have known where the crime scene was by just following where everyone was coming from with beer. I layed the bicycle on its side and entered.

"Hi!" I said
"Hi!" They waved back.

Surprisingly the store was crowded but not running out. It appears that the store was much more prepared than the Port Authority Path Train. I purchased the beer, and gave the clerk a hearty handshake.

"Thank you sir!"
"You're welcome Chris, Haaaaaave a wonderful day!!!!"
"I will Alejandro!"

Just then, Phil and Colin walked up,

"Hi friends! Are you guys ready to get fucked up?"

ck