03-03/People Eat Prime Rib, and I SING

We lost another show last night, the season finale of ABC's the Bachelor. This was a warm hearted tale of a young professional, Jason Mesnick, who could not find real love, so he did what anyone else would do - turn to network TV and be served good looking and nice girls to choose from.


I know that some will disagree, but I believe that this was partly scripted. I don't think the whole show was a sham, but I can see the directors and producers nudging it in certain directions. Even the ending, and the 'after the last rose special,' just seemed a little too interesting to me, especially for it to be real.


I was lucky enough to obtain an interview with Jason to get to the bottom of this all. His people picked me up by helicopter in Santa Monica, where I was choppered over to the John Wayne County Airport. When I took the blindfold off I stepped out onto the Tarmac to meet Jason standing there with a huge smile.


"Hello," I said.


"Hello, to you too, Chris." Then he handed me a rose. I was taken aback, but then my shock turned into laughter as we both giggled and bro-hugged. He stepped back and put his hand out,


"After you," he said gentleman-like, as we walked to the Citation X Jet awaiting.


I stepped into the jet, said hello to the crew, and sat down on one of the forward facing leather seats.


Jason followed suit, and he sat facing me, opening a bottle of champagne.

"My favorite. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to ask you the tough questions in this interview!!!!" I said through nervous laughter.

"Ask me anything, Chris," a comforting smile flashing across his face.


"We both know how tough it is out there to find the right one, are you happy with going on TV and reminding people that a good looking guy can make a game show out of finding a wife?" I asked, resting the pencil on my slightly parted lips.


"I'm falling for you." he said.

"What?"

"I'm falling for both of you."

"Who?"


Just then Pat O'Brien came out of the bathroom of the jet.


'This is so tough for me, I'm falling for both of you."

"You just said that." I said annoyed.


"Jason, I want this interview so bad. We've spent so much time together, I know I can deliver your story the best." Pat said pleadingly, as Jason looked on. Then, with his hands folded, Jason raised them to his mouth and turned toward me.


I started to cry, " Jason, I know we just met, and I have no credentials to be doing an interview, and this is only going on a blog that 6 people read (Hi Rico). But if you give me a chance, I'll write it well."


The plane had never left our parking spot. Jason began to tear as well.


"I need time to think. I'm falling for both of you."


Then we got out and the butler escorted me and Pat to a limo, where we had more champagne.

We sat in silence, until I played with the radio, and Flo-Rida's "Spin me Round" came on. We looked at each other and then the tension broke. We both laughed.

As the laughter slowed, I whispered, "Good luck."

"You too," he mouthed, and grabbed my hands. "We should have dinner sometime - you, me, Betsy..."

Then the door of the limo opened, and the butler said Jason was ready for us.

"One of you is going on this jet and doing this interview, the other is going back in this limo, with me. It's up to Jason."

Jason looked pensive, and after a while of thinking he said,
" You both mean so much to me, and I'm falling for both of you. But I can only do an interview with one of you. I know that Pat and I had that wonderful pre-interview in the hot tub, but I can only give my story to one of you. Pat, will you come take this recorder."

I started to cry, and I said thank you for your time. I also said my goodbye's and I got into the limo, where the butler was going to take me back to the hotel in Santa Monica. As we pulled away, Jason started running after the limo. As the limo stopped, I rolled down the window and stuck my head out.

Jason reached into his pocket,

"You left your keys on the seat, bro."

I never found out if the show was real or fake.

ck