02-26/A Sack Full of Pride

From wikipedia:
Enzyte is an herbal nutritional supplement originally manufactured by Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals of Cincinnati, Ohio. The manufacturer has claimed Enzyte promotes "natural male enhancement", which is suggestive of a euphemism for penile enlargement. However, its effectiveness has been called into doubt and the claims of the manufacturer have been under scrutiny from various state and federal organizations. Because of their claims and business practices, the company's founder and CEO, Steve Warshak, and his mother, Harriett Warshak, were found guilty of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud, and money laundering, were sentenced to prison in September 2008, and ordered to forfeit $500 million in assets.[1] The conviction threw the company into bankruptcy. In December 2008 the assets were acquired from bankruptcy court for $2.75 million by Pristine Bay, a Cincinnati developer Chuck Kubicki who said he wanted to keep the company's 200 employees in one of his property buildings in suburban Cincinnati at Forest Park, Ohio. Kubiciki said he would change the company name but would keep the brand.[2] Enzyte is widely advertised on US television as "the once daily tablet for natural male enhancement". The commercials feature a character known as "Smilin' Bob", who always wears a smile that is implied to be caused by the enhancing effects of Enzyte; these advertisements feature double entendres. The purported benefits of this compound are dubious, unproven and untested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7vOPPXkqm4

Watch this first - Little known fact, I have a crush on the short black haired girl.
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I still don't understand what this product does. Does it make it bigger in general? Or bigger- like an erection bigger? Either way these ads are hilarious, and now thanks to wikipedia, I got the history on it. Sounds like fraud to me.

They are still running the Christmas ads, like the one in the link above, using these "double entendres" like a "Sleigh full of confidence, a Sack full of pride."

I guess now that Easter is coming they should change the ads. Here are some suggestions.

"A rabbit with more hop, Eggs with more yoke"
"Don't forget these chicks like to cluck"
"Something else is rising on the third day"
"Have your own Easter egg hunt"
"Have a bigger ^%$& for Easter"

Summertime is coming too.

"A bigger beach umbrella, a greater area of shade"
"More meat on the grill, a satisfactory meal after its cooked"
"Not just a sparkler, but an a Roman candle"
"A fireworks show outside, and also in your pants"
"A longer vacation, a bigger deal on airfare"

Topical :

"Turn around the deficit, create bigger spending"
"Stimulate the economy, create more money (shots) "
"Stock market rising, ring the closing bell"
"Put a goose in the engine, land her on the water"

I wonder if the actor that plays "Smilin' Bob" gets recognized on the street. I'm sure he has to take a lot of crap from people. Contrary to what he thought the fame would do for him, he lives alone in an apartment complex.

He gets home, bills, bills, bills, listens to his messages.

Beeeeeep " Bob, this is your mother. I love the new penis enlargement commercial. You look so handsome. Did you meet any nice girls while filming this penis commercial? By the way, dad says your golf swing is awful in the other commercial. Call us back. (Father says in background: My son advertises for a penis pill, I'm a laughing stock at the Lodge-)

Beeeeeep " Hi, this is Joanne, I met you at the clinic earlier today. I just wanted to say I realized who you are, and I think its creepy. So please don't call me."

Beeeeeep " Hi this is Sharon, your agent. I just got off the phone with Preparation H ----" He deletes this one before it ends.

He cracks open a beer, sits on the couch and then the neighbors start yelling loud enough that he can hear it through the wall.

ck