As my mind slowly deteriorates into mush, I figured why not make some food out of this mush. I've started watching Food Network shows so consistently that I find myself DVR-ing some programs.
It was pointed out, by my mother of all people, how some of these shows are a little seductive. Giada De Laurentiis is commonly known for her Italian cooking, and always shows cleavage. Paired with her attractiveness, it's gets a little hot in my kitchen when she starts cooking and the momentary silence is filled in with smooth slow jazz.
(Hot in my kitchen because I forget about my hot pockets and they burn)
I think I feel more comfortable watching the soft core porn scenes on "Nip/Tuck" with my dad. Even though he gives a vivid play by play commentary, watching Giada with my mother seems dead wrong. I find myself looking for things to break the silence as the porn tracks play showing Giada stir something with vigor.
Bobby Flay seems to not give a shit about anything. I love to watch "Boy Meets Grill" as he cooks food that I would actually eat. However, he seems to be that asshole older brother that would hit you in the head, as you try to concentrate while doing your homework.
Paula Dean is the sweetheart old-southern-mother type. Best known, by no one but me and Matt for her role in "Elizabethtown," her cooking shows are great tutorials for how to make bacon-fat smoothies, and pork sausage/rib casseroles.
Ina Garten hosts a show called "Barefoot Contessa." Feet that are bare, do not appetize me or make me want to make a Caesar salad with her. Her show is also known for the porn tracks, and she edits her show to have her face in the screenshot making alot of "mmmm" and "ahhhh" noises.
http://www.housebeautiful.com/cm/housebeautiful/images/66/1-barefoot-contessa-ina-0608-xlg.jpg
I'm tired of all the weird fish dishes though. There's nothing like the disappointment of an episode revolving around shrimp and talapia pudding.
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1 comment:
dead on
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