02-17/Celebs in the News

I have always felt bad for Michael Phelps. But I know what he's going through. To have such world-renowned fame, its tough. 8 Gold medals in Beijing, I once made an un-assisted double play for the 5th grade St. Mel's baseball team, the same year I had 11 points for the basketball team. That's right, a lay-up and 9 - count them - 9 points off free throws.

It reminds me of when I tried a reverse lay-up and it ended up being an air ball. Fortunately, one of the best players in the league was on our team, so he jumped up and layed it in, for a fake alley-oop. I remember pointing at him, because he ignored me, realizing that technically he's supposed to point at me. I pointed at his back while running down the court. I caught up with him to try pointing again, then trying to high five him, a good 15 seconds after the play.

But please, let Michael Phelps be. He was spotted in a strip club. Then they showed him at a football game, with about 3 empty corona cans in front of him. Every time somebody notices him, he's doing something that we all do, but gets a bad rap. Then the bong photo, well...not a great idea, but still, who's the shithead that is selling that. It probably was some jealous fatso, with a mustard stain on his shirt, upset that 6 girls were around him. I was not there.

Chris Brown. Dumbass. Rihanna is one of the nicest, prettiest girls in the business. Not only a moral mistake, but a stupid one. Much like Michael Vick, I don't think these people have any idea of what they have and how they are putting it all in jeopardy. If only at some point Vick had thought, I have an amazing talent from God, that pays me millions of dollars, with all the fame in the world....maybe I shouldn't raise animals to maul each other to the death. It might not look good to the public.

So I propose that Chris Brown's punishment, which is already in full swing by bad press, see what it's like to lose all of that. Instead of a Lamborghini, he should be forced to cruise Northern Blvd. in a 1997 Honda Civic, taking Mary Lopresti to Lenny's Clam Bar. Instead of private jets, put him a middle seat on a flight to Los Angeles, stopping in Columbus and Salt Lake.

I'm all for second chances, I just think people need to understand and respect more what they have.

ck