07-24/Jack and Lisa down by the Schoolyard

I like my coffee with just a little bit of skim milk. The robust, charry, bean flavor is just dampened by a trickle of the milk. If I'm doing the pouring, it sometimes makes a plop, and therefor I do not need to stir it.

Coffee never was a big deal to me until college. I guess I didn't need it back then, however it would have given me a reason to go in early to school. As much as I loved sitting with Jack and Lisa while me and Fabian played "who's going to go the longest without making eye contact with a girl," I really had no reason to go in early.

The two-door gold Hyundai Excel puttered up to Blue Bay and I exited there, so my father could make the next left turn that put him on the LIE. The absence of radio drove me to bringing a walkman; the headphones probably a souvenir from Delta when we flew to Florida.

I'd listen to Howard Stern, and relay to dad when he was talking about a part of a woman's anatomy, or if she was undressing or having an orgasm contest. I would try to get the point across without having to say the word "orgasm."

The little prick that I was, could have talked to him the measly 10 minute drive, but instead I wanted to listen to that dumb fuck, or hope to hear "Too Close" by Next. In that case I could sing some of the words at lunch so that Mike Agrusa would think I was cool.

"Baby when we're lying, I get so slighted, Ooh how I like it, I'm shy but I'll just try it..."

I'd still give dad a kiss goodbye, the gesture leaving the scent of an expensive cologne around my face. His cologne, when combined with his suit, made his person worth more than the car that encased him. Somewhere 5 miles behind us, a teacher was getting into a sparkly new Audi A4.

For me, though, the trace of cologne combined with my rayon tie, which was one small step above a clip-on. This definitely made me a slam pig for anyone in the band that was showing up to the German Club party later that night.

High School left us in the middle of the pack, very able to stay out of the spotlight. Whether that meant we would never be cool, nor nerds, it seemed that we'd forever live in the comfort of mediocrity.

People like Paps and John kept their close ties to the upper echelon, often getting me the respect of a hallway nod from the greats like, Gill, or Godek, because of my affiliation. Thanks to John, Dina T would nervously smile when I approached, instead of the normal, "I think the milk was sour," type of face.

Steve ate his sandwich slowly and used words like "herb" and "wet towel."

We could have done more with ourselves. I could have smoked cigarettes with Mike Chatterton, perhaps then I could have asked him to explain to me what he meant when he called me "straight edge."

I should have used the prestige of being on the Varsity Golf Team to getting us into more parties with Mike Schmidt.

That was ten years ago. Now we have our own parties, some of us smoke cigarettes, Steve still uses the word "herb" and "wet towel." I even know the words to some dance songs.

"I wanna make love right now now now, I wanna make love right now now. Should have never broke up right now now now We need to leave Club right now now now."

Now you've got your Fire Island's and your Hamptons. Your love's lost and never found again. Good luck and be well.

- this speech delivered at the German Club reunion. Mr. Hiller clapped furiously, dropping his Leberkase pizza. Then he looked around and wondered where Paps and Fabe were.

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