As they entered the vessel, the sweet sounds of a piano and glasses clinking could be heard throughout the dining room. Subtle laughter ran around the cabin, as some of the city's elite dined on hors d'oeuvres.
In one corner, the finest of New Jersey's mozzarella cheeses were deep fried in bread crumbs, heated and chilled. At the port side, they could find a delicious melody of meats and cheese, described by one as "the creme-de-la-crem of Hero's Le Italian e Americano..."
And bagel bites.
The group hoisted themselves onto the Lido Deck where they sipped on welcome cordials.
"I'll have a Grey Goose and tonic," CK said, as he motioned toward the parade of premium bottles hiding behind the bartender.
"Premium liquor is not included today," and he held up a bottle of Kraplakistan's finest vodka, Kraplak.
"Ok, I'll have that and tonic."
CK looked over at Paps and said,
"I wonder how many drinks it will take to get my 50 dollars worth," chuckling at his own miserliness. He briefly thought his mother would be proud at his attempt at getting every penny out of something, like eating alot at a salad bar and taking home half of your meal.
Phil was annoyed. Using his hands to settle CK, he said, "Let's take it easy, just enjoy yourself."
"I thought that would be funny. Like something mom would...."
"No- it wasn't funny."
-------------
All of the beautiful young ladies were finished boarding, and it was time to depart. CK waved to them as their boat passed.
KR finished his Muscle Milk, then started doing pull ups off the side of the Lido Deck.
As the late afternoon turned into dusk, the boat rumbled along the East River, dancing with the Statue of Liberty, then deciding to go up the Hudson. They loved every minute of it, toasting drink after drink, and taking picture after picture.
Coco, who was spotted less than Waldo, just showed his thick hair in a different part of the crowd, every hour on the hour. He would entertain the group by saying things like, " Hi," and "Hey."
CK had hit the dance floor and danced for about 2 minutes, prompting him to text at least one known friend that he was "In a dance-off."
Next, the moment everyone was waiting for had arrived. The human auction.
A parade of young ladies and gentlemen auctioned themselves off for a night of raunchy sexual acts, all benefiting charity. CK had thought it would be a good idea to dance seductively behind one thin gentleman as he was auctioned off.
Looking down at his friends, and giving something resembling the "hang-loose" sign, he started making hip thrusts in the young man's direction. CK turned to put his backside closer to the gentleman as his friends looked on.
Figuring it was enough, he jumped down and joined his friends. Just then Paps' hair started shaking as his conversation became heated with the young man. CK was taken aback by this development, and looked for Coco, who was looking very innocent in the corner.
It appeared that someone had taunted the young man, and it agitated him, creating a stir on the Lido Deck.
"Lets all calm down, we are all here for the same reason," was the mantra, as everyone's inner Suffolk county started frothing to the surface. CK tried to do his best to settle the young man down, but he wanted nothing to do with it.
"He's yelling ZERO, ZERO, ZERO!" the young man said, as he pointed toward the direction of Coco. Coco had taken up a conversation with a young lady, and looked startled to have been confused with the imaginary man.
Paps had come under fire as well. CK had created a dare to be great moment by pretending he wanted to be in a fight. Much like Buster in Arrested D. he was looking for someone to throw a punch.
CK had blocked Paps and now stood with his arms crossed, looking at the young man, who's words now became an incessant river of insults.
"Go have another beer!" he yelled at Paps.
"Ok, I will." Paps replied, as he realized he was fresh out.
CK turned to look at Paps, but this time came face to face with KR, who's fiery eyes were locked at the young man. CK turned back arms folded, and with KR created a wall much like the Tri-Lams did when they blocked the Alpha Betas at the end of Revenge of the Nerds. All they needed was the bass disco beat from the movie, that resembled a much hipper Law and Order opening theme.
The young man settled down, and all was well, for the time being.
----------------
ck
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