09-14/Pains of My Labor Pt. II

"So, this is the great housesitting job you found.....This place is a dump."

"Just wait until you see the pool...."

Purple Couch.

Nestled in the middle of the Sherwood forest, 45 Sherwood Lane welcomed us into its gravel landing strip. There to help us with bags and groceries were 100 spiders.

"This is not a party house," rang through my head, as I managed to safely navigate through the living room into the kitchen without breaking anything. Wide eyed, I looked around the massive living room - a gigantic 12 inch flat screen gracing the shelf of a bookcase.

On the wall hung Steven Glasberg's 4th grade masterpiece, "I found a pastel set, and saw a boat once."

The house smelled of rich mahogany, drizzled with moth balls and suntan lotion. I couldn't wait to deep fry something, just to give my olfactics a smell that didn't make me want to vomit. We let the other housemates relax as we unpacked all their food for the weekend, especially since the sun dial said that there would only be about 47 minutes of sunlight breaking through the trees.

Since the groceries took up the last remaining seat in the car, we left CD at the store with his computer and a sandwich bigger than his hands. We jumped back into the car and returned to town. Unfortunately it took a while to get him since we got stuck behind an old horse and buggy.

Purple Couch.

"Yo no sé por qué dejar los zapatos en la casa. Tengo que limpiar después de su grasa detrás de todo el día. Sus hijos van a crecer como usted!!!"

"Yes dear."

After we arrived back from town we decided to relax a little on the stained couch. Hoping that is was a mustard stain from 1987, I shifted to the right to make sure I didn't come into contact with it. If only there was a 'Married with Children' marathon on. Jackpot!

I started prepping for the dinner by preparing my guacomole and fried tortilla appetizer. The skirt steaks had been marinating all day, and were ready to be grilled. Some of us don't eat red meat.

That evening comprised of card drinking games that nobody cared about, I mean, nobody - zero - and cake. More cake for some than others. Thank God Austin Powers came on.

When it was all said and done, our choices were another yellow stained sheet bed, or an uninflated air mattress on a hard wood floor. I got the floor, thankfully, and Paps put on his spacesuit and laid in the "bed."

Here's to a hearty 3 hour sleep. See you in the morning.

ck