My father got a kick out of the digs that people in right field gave Adam Dunn last Tuesday. We sat 4 rows up from the field, as a gift for mother's day. My sister and mother, sitting quietly next to my father and I, giggled quietly at comments like,
"Hey Dunn, you should have had that" (ball not in the vicinity of him)
"Hey Dunn, you want a pretzel since you're not in the game"
"Hey Dunn stop scratching your nuts" (for some reason my dad enjoyed this one the most)
My father eventually wanted to get into the fun, and asked me what would be a good thing to say. Thinking that he would never do it, I suggested that he say something about Dunn's wife. Furthermore, I told him that it was ok, and part of our "pastime."
Then as if in slow motion, I saw out of my left periphery, his hands cup up to his mouth. Frame by frame it got closer to his mouth, and once they met his face I heard....
"HEY DUNN......"
"YOUR WIFE SLEEPS WITH THE MILKMAN"
I said. " Milkman dad?"
"Mailman, Milkman, what did I say?"
My mother, shocked, embarrassed, but also laughing, said, "Mark!"
Dad replied with.
"What? It's our national pastime."
ck
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
05-24/Riesling, Yousling
Sorry everyone but Riesling week in NYC is over.
http://germanyinnyc.org/index.php?section=catevent&cat_evt_id=614&cat_id=6
ck
http://germanyinnyc.org/index.php?section=catevent&cat_evt_id=614&cat_id=6
ck
Thursday, May 21, 2009
05-21/Horrorscope
Your Weekly Horoscope - Virgo
Sunday, May 17th 2009
Week ahead: You should start to feel that certain restrictions have lifted; it's time to move forward. "I'm staying with my family while my condo is being renovated.."
Love: Keep life equal between you and another - relationships should have an element of balance. "I know we always go to your place, but my condo is still being renovated..lots of drop cloths and what not.."
Career: Confirmation of something you've been waiting for is indicated this week, even if it doesn't go ahead right away. "Yeah, since I got my promotion, I wanted to put in a new kitchen..no big deal, it should take a couple of months.."
Money: Hard work eventually pays off; don't get despondent. "Oh it's a mess right now, toolboxes, paint cans, it's not even worth seeing right now..I wouldn't want you to trip.."
Key words: Exercise a good dose of patience. "Insert your own joke about exercise here."
-------------------
Your Daily Horoscope - Virgo
Thursday, May 21st 2009
Role models in life are inspirational, as they help to set the boundaries of infinite possibilities in life, but don’t mirror your total life exactly on what someone else is doing. Have a role model as an example of what can be accomplished, but allow yourself to be better or different without being limited to what your role model has achieved. Live your own life, Virgo.
Fabian, I have returned my umbrella - the weather can go F#*k itself.
Phil, I tried a turkey sandwich - I'm ditching it.
Steve, I look stupid in a backward Mets hat.
Colin, my treadmill is going to make a lovely rack to hang my Mets Jerseys.
Rico, I still want to be like you.
ck
Sunday, May 17th 2009
Week ahead: You should start to feel that certain restrictions have lifted; it's time to move forward. "I'm staying with my family while my condo is being renovated.."
Love: Keep life equal between you and another - relationships should have an element of balance. "I know we always go to your place, but my condo is still being renovated..lots of drop cloths and what not.."
Career: Confirmation of something you've been waiting for is indicated this week, even if it doesn't go ahead right away. "Yeah, since I got my promotion, I wanted to put in a new kitchen..no big deal, it should take a couple of months.."
Money: Hard work eventually pays off; don't get despondent. "Oh it's a mess right now, toolboxes, paint cans, it's not even worth seeing right now..I wouldn't want you to trip.."
Key words: Exercise a good dose of patience. "Insert your own joke about exercise here."
-------------------
Your Daily Horoscope - Virgo
Thursday, May 21st 2009
Role models in life are inspirational, as they help to set the boundaries of infinite possibilities in life, but don’t mirror your total life exactly on what someone else is doing. Have a role model as an example of what can be accomplished, but allow yourself to be better or different without being limited to what your role model has achieved. Live your own life, Virgo.
Fabian, I have returned my umbrella - the weather can go F#*k itself.
Phil, I tried a turkey sandwich - I'm ditching it.
Steve, I look stupid in a backward Mets hat.
Colin, my treadmill is going to make a lovely rack to hang my Mets Jerseys.
Rico, I still want to be like you.
ck
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
05-19/Sorry
I'm terrible right now, a little blocked due to "stuff"
Keep coming back,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOQboHV3-PI
ck
Keep coming back,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOQboHV3-PI
ck
Thursday, May 14, 2009
05-14/Zip it Doris
I'm tired of websites that require authentication by making you type in words. The annoyance is brief, but the bitterness long lasting - apparently.
The words they make you type in are scrunched up and behind some sort of blockage that makes it nearly impossible to read. So here's the plan. We are going make you type a word that doesn't exist - is squished together making the letters of this non word undecipherable - and hide it behind a blotch - with a number 6 at the end of it.
Well when making it this difficult, I think the countless rejections are going to make Susie Homemaker not want to purchase Jonas Brothers tickets from ticketmaster. Maybe she'll just scalp them instead, using her semi MILF body to bargain with the scalper. A scalper named "Tigre," originally from the island of Barbuda, likes the character "Daryl" from The Office, and responds to Susie's advances with "Ho. You old (mon)."
So I prefer that maybe they not make it so hard to purchase something. Use words spelled clearly "I N T E R N E T" not scrunched up, squiggly letters
"HAFOTARN72."
Whats up with Checkers, do they make decent food? Reminds me of Chubby Checker, and wasn't he chubby?
Denny's, stop advertising bro, we don't have you in the city.
In fact here are the closest ones:
1286 ST. GEORGES AVE.
AVENEL, NJ 07001 US
732-634-4160
27.67 miles
According to Wikipedia, Avenel is the headquarters of Bradco Supply, one of the leading distributors of building products in the US.
752 HWY. 18
EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ 08816 US
732-238-4337
37.55 miles
http://www.eastbrunswick.org/departments/news_detail.asp?NewsID=768
61 NEWTOWN ROAD
DANBURY, CT 06810 US
203-778-2298
48.89 miles
http://www.ci.danbury.ct.us/controls/eventview.aspx?MODE=SINGLE&ID=593
When living in Florida, Matt and I went to eat at Denny's often. After ordering breakfast, I said "I'll also be fat and have the mozzarella sticks."
And at Chili's I got a salad once. She listed all the Non-fat dressings, and I asked her "What do you have with fat?"
ck
The words they make you type in are scrunched up and behind some sort of blockage that makes it nearly impossible to read. So here's the plan. We are going make you type a word that doesn't exist - is squished together making the letters of this non word undecipherable - and hide it behind a blotch - with a number 6 at the end of it.
Well when making it this difficult, I think the countless rejections are going to make Susie Homemaker not want to purchase Jonas Brothers tickets from ticketmaster. Maybe she'll just scalp them instead, using her semi MILF body to bargain with the scalper. A scalper named "Tigre," originally from the island of Barbuda, likes the character "Daryl" from The Office, and responds to Susie's advances with "Ho. You old (mon)."
So I prefer that maybe they not make it so hard to purchase something. Use words spelled clearly "I N T E R N E T" not scrunched up, squiggly letters
"HAFOTARN72."
Whats up with Checkers, do they make decent food? Reminds me of Chubby Checker, and wasn't he chubby?
Denny's, stop advertising bro, we don't have you in the city.
In fact here are the closest ones:
1286 ST. GEORGES AVE.
AVENEL, NJ 07001 US
732-634-4160
27.67 miles
According to Wikipedia, Avenel is the headquarters of Bradco Supply, one of the leading distributors of building products in the US.
752 HWY. 18
EAST BRUNSWICK, NJ 08816 US
732-238-4337
37.55 miles
http://www.eastbrunswick.org/departments/news_detail.asp?NewsID=768
61 NEWTOWN ROAD
DANBURY, CT 06810 US
203-778-2298
48.89 miles
http://www.ci.danbury.ct.us/controls/eventview.aspx?MODE=SINGLE&ID=593
When living in Florida, Matt and I went to eat at Denny's often. After ordering breakfast, I said "I'll also be fat and have the mozzarella sticks."
And at Chili's I got a salad once. She listed all the Non-fat dressings, and I asked her "What do you have with fat?"
ck
Monday, May 11, 2009
05-11/Zach and Miri Go F Themselves
Ok super movie. So happy. I was excited to watch a movie about Seth Rogen probably smoking pot, and the hot crazy chick from 40 year old virgin maybe showing her boobies. Instead I was assasined by a love story inside a movie called " ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A MOTHERF(&&*ING PORNO."
Well you took me by surprise sir. And while Darryl from 'The Office' offers another very exceptional under the radar performance, its still a love story INSIDE A MOVIE CALLED ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO.
The worst part is that they explain what happens after the movie ends after the credits roll. It's bad enough when the movie ends and they start showing the extra footage. People stop, do that awkward stand-in-the aisle thing, and no one knows what to do.
It's not like someone handing you a flyer, and you give them (maybe) the second or two before you say no thanks. You stare at the screen while walking in the aisle to the exit, craning your neck around like a dog watching tv. They are interested in the TV but just the head swivels around and stares at you while panting as if they said, " Dummy, did you say something, I'm watching TV."
In the aisle, you stand, like a dummy looking at these end parts. Gee, it would have been nice sitting in my chair to watch these clips, you think. But no, you turn your head around but still walk, and bump into someone in front of you who stopped to do the same thing.
Well the answers you need do eventually come in the shots after the ctredits, so you have to wait till the end, or fast forward through the credits to see the answer.
ck
Well you took me by surprise sir. And while Darryl from 'The Office' offers another very exceptional under the radar performance, its still a love story INSIDE A MOVIE CALLED ZACH AND MIRI MAKE A PORNO.
The worst part is that they explain what happens after the movie ends after the credits roll. It's bad enough when the movie ends and they start showing the extra footage. People stop, do that awkward stand-in-the aisle thing, and no one knows what to do.
It's not like someone handing you a flyer, and you give them (maybe) the second or two before you say no thanks. You stare at the screen while walking in the aisle to the exit, craning your neck around like a dog watching tv. They are interested in the TV but just the head swivels around and stares at you while panting as if they said, " Dummy, did you say something, I'm watching TV."
In the aisle, you stand, like a dummy looking at these end parts. Gee, it would have been nice sitting in my chair to watch these clips, you think. But no, you turn your head around but still walk, and bump into someone in front of you who stopped to do the same thing.
Well the answers you need do eventually come in the shots after the ctredits, so you have to wait till the end, or fast forward through the credits to see the answer.
ck
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